How (not) To Talk To A Girl

"Yaar bata na us ladki se kaise baat karun?" asked one of my friend edgily. 

Now before some of you mistakenly think of me as some Alex 'Hitch' Hitchens, ever ready with some kick-ass move up my sleeves, I'd better put up this disclaimer: I hereby do solemnly and sincerely and truly declare and affirm that my knack for schmoozing with girls is comparable to Sanjay Dutt's knack for dancing, which will be evident as this post advances. My friend's query was one of the millions of chance-events that occur everyday on this planet. 

Although I couldn't offer better than "Rahne de yaar, kuch nahi rakha is sab mein..padhai pe focus kar", it got me thinking. If I had to list down some random tasks and arrange them in order of their perceived difficulty by boys, it would look like (from easiest to most difficult one)

• find square root of an integer with minimum number of iterations in Newton's method
• do a somersault
• listen to Siddhu's shayari
• watch Balika Vadhu
• take a bath in winters
• ...(some)
• ...(million)
• ...(other)
• ...(stuff)
• ...(then some more)
• walk up to a girl and talk to her

Now theoretically, it shouldn't be this difficult. You stand up from your chair. You walk up to the girl. And you open your mouth to make certain intelligible sounds. Simple. (Yeah right!). But there is something intangible in the idea itself that would send chills down the spine of even most courageous of men. In fact, if not-having-the-courage-to-talk-to-a-girl were to be categorized as a disease, we would be dealing with a pandemic here. To be fair to my comrades, in a country like India, where even the slightest indication of misstep makes you an easy target of the individual frustrations of 'brothers' in the crowd, it is indeed wise sometimes to err on the side of caution. But still, to use it as an excuse for being a wimp would be like saying Sanju baba doesn't dance well lest Hrithik be out of demand. 

As it turned out, my friend wasn't a wimp. Don't know whether he was inspired (or shattered) by Diggi boy's recent exploits, but he persisted nonetheless. So I recounted my two recent-most experiences to serve it as a template for avoiding pitfalls in such an endeavor. My friend was more than thankful for the primers. And in service of humanity, and for greater good, I present here (at cost of my ego) abridged versions of those two encounters, and leave it to my fellow bros to learn, whatever they can, from it.

Backdrop:- 

I have always been a keen observer of human behavior. I have always enjoyed watching random quirks of people in social settings, particularly girls. Some of them give rise to impertinent contemplations like - how stupid does she have to be to say things like that? and sometimes, to a more sensible thought like - is she looking for directions? And it was all fine until a voice inside my head said - why don't you go and ask her? 

Now that was a scary but reasonable proposition. But it was clear to me that I could never just approach a girl and ask her whatever there was on my mind. So I tried to reason out with myself to find a justification, other than being a chicken, for not acting on my impulse. And this moot court runs inside my head everytime I get a 'thought', cumulative result of which is to make me extremely nervous. And when I get this nervous, I can even make the King of 'The King's Speech' look pretty smooth. 

Moreover, all this dialectics inside my head wasn't good for my confidence. So I resolved to man up and pounce upon the next opportunity. 

I missed the next opportunity, obviously. And next, and many 'nexts' after that. Until one day universe conspired to make it happen.

Exhibit A:- 

At IIT Delhi, we have Student Exchange Program with many foreign institutes, of which I knew only about the French ones because of their shaky English and readily discernible accent. In one such group of foreign exchange students sitting in the Library, I noticed that one of the girls was perfectly fluent in English with unmistakable American accent (one of the advantages of watching truckloads of American movies and TV Series) and the devil inside my head instantly asked is she an American?

I successfully resisted the devil until one fine evening during the exams, she took the chair next to me in the Reading Room (also called R2).
Ooook. This is it. You're going to do this today sucker. You have a legitimate question to ask. Get the answer or else...but what if...NO BUTS. May be she sat next to you on purpose...hehe yeah of course..just ignore the fact that there was no other empty chair in the...JUST PRETEND IT YOU LOSER AND START TALKING YOU @!#$%@$#%# IN 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and...

Me: H..Hi..excuse me?
G1: Hi..yes?

Me:Are you an American?
G1: (smiling) Oh..no..no. I am Canadian

Me: Oh..ok..that's what I was wondering. I knew about our exchange program with French colleges but I didn't think we had one with any American college.
G1: I am from ...(Don't remember the name) college.

Me: (pretentious nod) Right. And what are you studying here?
G1: I am studying ...(Don't remember that either)

Me: Hmm. Interesting stuff. I am Narender btw
G1: (big smile again) I am ... (DO remember the name but don't feel like telling)

Me: Ok. So how has been your experience so far in India?
G1: Well. It's been good. My father has worked here previously and my brother had been here in exchange program as well. So I pretty much knew what to expect.

Me: Good thing then. Most of them get overwhelmed easily in India as...
G1: (she interrupted) I can imagine. I mean you see a lot of people around here. And I mean a lot

Me: (laughing) Yes that could be a factor.
G1: Where are you from?

Me: Do you know all places in India?
G1: I'll try my best

Me: I am from Rajasthan
G1: Ahh!!..(rolling eyes) who doesn't know Rajasthan? In fact, we are planning to celebrate Holi there. Which do you think would be better, Jaipur or Jodhpur?

As I eased into the conversation I became more and more relaxed. And that was the red signal. Because, as I get more relaxed, I get more careless about what I am saying and that's when I start churning out non-sense at a pace which even India TV can't match. So after 15-20 minutes of random chit-chat I pressed the Self-Destruct button

G1: (looking at my laptop screen) So what are you watching?
Me: How I Met Your Mother (I know. Not proud of it)

Now those who have watched this show know very well that it has one Canadian character and rest of the gang crack all kinds of jokes on her for being Canadian. I don't know how my subconscious accessed this information but before I knew...

Me: Why do these Americans make so much fun of you?

G1: W..What?
Me: In this show, there is a character from Canada and her friends make fun of her for being a Canadian. So I wonder if there is some backstory..I mean may be some reason..

G1: Umm..well..I don't know..I mean they think they are superior and all..and they like to make fun of people..but we don't mind..umm...reason?..I don't understand..how..may be if you could give me an example

I was on road to perdition. I should have stopped talking long ago. But I rarely do what I am supposed to do. She asked me to illustrate my point with an example. So I came up with the most non-racist, inoffensive, unprejudiced answer possible..

Me: Of Course. We have so many jokes on Sardars here and there are many backstories...blah blah blah (I was unstoppable)

She realized that with each passing second, my IQ level was dropping exponentially. So she decided to save me from myself and took the way out

G1: Umm..I should get back to my studies...
Me: Yes. Yes. Of course. All the best for your exam

And suddenly I became aware of the colossal stupidity that was on the display for the last few minutes. I was tempted to do some damage control right then but I knew I would only manage to make it worse. So I decided to let it go. For the time being.

Our paths crossed again a few weeks later. I made some small talk, asked about her Holi etc. etc and made sure that I excused myself quickly, well before my 'settle-in' period. Like they say, all's well that ends well. May be I'll find that out someday.

Exhibit B:-

Despite showcasing my discerning persona & an acute sense of what to ask a girl on first meeting, I was emboldened by the experience. I'd realized the merit of what-doesn't-kill-you-makes-you-stronger argument. So I promised myself to kick it up a notch - no waiting for the girl to come and sit in the last empty chair next to you; instead exercise your free will and make it a point of following the 'simple' steps of getting out of chair, walking up to the girl and uttering something other than non-sense.

So after my last Mains' exam, on a lazy winter afternoon, I decided to make good on my promise and 'Act'. Once again the crime scene was same. I looked around. There weren't many people in the R2. And that's when I noticed the girl sitting directly opposite to me across the room.
OOOK. Showtime. Get up...May be not. She's studying. Shouldn't disturb her...Oh Not Again! Remember the promise?...I do. Just not now. May be later. Tomorrow?...Ok there's been too much build up now. If you don't go now then your confidence will be hit. No option now boy. C'mon, she's a person. Nothing to fear. Worst case scenario - she'll say she's busy. Now Start walking in 5, 4..

I stood up at 4 and started the long frightful walk. Now I've approached strangers and talked to them before, but in each of those instances the social setting was conducive for the effort e.g. some Fest. or Socials etc. There you have all sorts of excuses at your disposal. But a girl studying intently in library isn't an ideal setting for carrying out such social experiments. So I almost froze when I reached her table.

First things first. Say Hi

Me: Hi
G2: (she looked up and didn't say anything) ..

Oook. What next. May be turn around and walk back? Ok. Be straightforward

Me: (softly) May I talk to you?

She was amused at my request and smiled brightly. Now with a smile like that, I was filled with such a confidence that I could have killed a lion with my bare hands. Ok..may be not. But you get the point.

G2: Yes. Of course. Please sit down

And I took the chair she'd offered

Ok. Mission Accomplished. Now what? May be make some excuse and leave. Just tell her you confused her with some old acquaintance, apologize and leave. Hmm. How 'bout honesty-is-the-best-policy?

Me: Actually I was sitting back there thinking of talking to you for past 20 mins but...(words escaped me at this point)
G2: (laughing) Why? What was so scary?

Me: Ah..no..nothing scary as such..it's just that..I didn't know...(words escaped me again)
G2: Yeah I know. Girls can be intimidating at times. Don't worry. Relax

And that's what I did. I relaxed. She was easily the most friendly stranger I've ever met or am likely to meet, I dare say

Me: I am Narender
G2: I am ... (And incidentally that was the most beautiful name I'd heard in a long time, reason for which I was about to find out shortly)

Me: I must say I didn't expect you to be this easy-going. I mean girls aren't that comfortable talking to a stranger generally.
G2: Well. May be that's because I've seen you around here. You are here a lot with books and all. So you weren't that stranger. Otherwise I'd have been skeptical too. I think you are preparing for some exam..right?

Me: Yes. Yes. Civil Services. And you?
G2: I am doing .... from here. And I have GRE in 4 days. So right now I am studying for it.

Me: Oh..so sorry for disturbing you. I..
G2: No it's ok.

Me: So next semester will be your last semester
G2: No. Actually this was my last semester because ...So I'll be leaving after GRE (she gave me a reason which was pretty compelx. Point is she was leaving).

Me: Oh. Then may be I should have talked to you sooner

Now it was supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek James Bond-esque one liner like

                                  to the effect 

                            But it came out like this

                               to the effect 

And before any awkwardness could creep in such a smooth conversation, she got a call. It was Divine Intervention.

So she started talking on the phone...in Hindi. And that's when I realised it. She was from Kashmir. And suddenly I was pumped up. I'd always wanted to meet a Kashmiri and find out his opinion on some of the sensitive issues and discuss it. This was it. A sort of dream had come true. So when she put down the phone..

Me: You are from Kashmir!
G2: (surprised) Yes. How did you know?

Me: Your accent
G2: (partly amused, partly impressed) I didn't know I had an accent

Me: I mean your hindi. The way you spoke on the phone
G2: You can recognize different accents?

Me: Prominent ones yes. Or those which I've encountered so far
G2: That's really good

Me: Can I ask you something, if you don't mind?

But she knew what was coming next. And suddenly her guard was up

G2: Yes of course. Please just don't let it be religion and politics.
Me: ...
G2: It's just that I don't like to talk about these subjects. People say things without understanding the other point of view and that's hurtful.

Me: It's Ok. Ok. No Problem

So after 5 minutes of other random chit chat, which included checking with her if a facebook friend request was in order (to which she said yes and accepted it a few hours later), I couldn't resist myself and..

Me: You know. We don't have to talk about religion or politics. But may be if you could tell me your viewpoint on the situation in the valley..I mean objectively speaking..
G2: (smiling) That's the same thing. It will include both religion and politics. And I can't be objective about it. There are people involved, emotions involved.

Me: Right. I am sorry. I won't push. Sorry
G2: (smiling) It's ok

So after another 5 mins of random chit chat, I wished her best for her exam and left. As fate would have it, I was in for another surprise in a few hours. In the evening, I called up my 4-am-friend and I told him about the girl. "Sounds pretty cool. What's her name?" He asked that to continue with our age-old sacred tradition of analyzing girls' Facebook profiles (I know. We don't have a life). I told her the name and he pulled up her profile. Obviously, everything was blocked for strangers except some basic details and profile pic. That's when my friend pointed out..

4A-F: abe, tu common friends mein kyun nahi dikh raha?
Me: kyunki tu uski friend list mein nahi hai na

4A-F: haan par common friends to dikhte hi hain na?
Me: ...

She had removed me from her friend list in a matter of hours.

The next day, I was sitting in the same chair in the R2, wondering what might be her reasons for doing so. And precisely at that moment I saw her entering the R2. So I decided to give my brain some rest and ask her instead. She was a bit apprehensive, may be dreading having to explain the deletion. But I didn't ask her anything of that sort. Whom she should keep in her friend list and whom she shouldn't was her prerogative. I just wanted to make sure that it wasn't because of my dogged insistence on discussing Kashmir. Though she denied it to be the reason, it wasn't that convincing. And then she dished out the standard girl excuse. She said she wasn't "socializing much" and was right now "focusing" on her studies. That was my cue to leave.

Now after this exasperatingly long blogpost, if you are looking for some 'tips', then I don't have any for you. May be just avoid asking questions which could force them to explain why certain people make fun of them or questions which they have explicitly denied answering to. Keep it simple and NOT stupid and you should be fine. As for the voice inside my head, I have choked it for the foreseeable future.

Indian Culture 101

We Indians are consensus loving people. We reach at various types of consensuses:

Short-term - Sachin always fails when needed the most (never mind the gazillion runs and centuries)
Long-term - Sachin is GOD
Scientific - diesel engine gives more mileage than petrol engine

Unscientific - tie chilli-lemon strings on bumpers, put लाल टीका on the hood and keep an idol, preferably Ganesha, on the dashboard for a safe ride (never mind the drunken driving)

Natural - eat curd for better gastrointestinal performance
Supernatural - eat sweet-curd before an examination for better academic performance (never mind the preparation)

Sometimes a new consensus (Don't vote for AAP in coming elections if you want change) even flies in the face of a previously reached consensus (Vote for AAP in coming elections if you want change).

Some of them make me think, some perplex me and some amuse me. But there is one enduring consensus which I first came to know of when I was a little kid (sitting in the drawing room of an Uncleji, contemplating whether to take another cookie or not, if offered) and which I still haven't been able to make complete sense of: Degradation of Indian Culture 

Over the years I have come across several viewpoints on it - mostly for, seldom against. Concomitantly, vanguards of  tradition have emerged in different parts of country ranging from khap panchayats in Haryana to Salishi Sabha in West Bengal. These kangaroo courts (and their ilk) seem to have an idea about what ails Indian Culture and how to go about redeeming it. Quite predictably, every single one of them, without fail, places women at the center, or thereabouts, of everything that is wrong with Indian Culture - both, its manifestation and its cause.

Lately, I was (un)fortunate enough to have interacted with some of these custodians of Indian Culture. Even though these custodians were separated by space, time, class, education, age and other such variables, they had this striking resemblance of views about the causes of decay in Indian Culture and its effects. It was like talking to the same person over and over again - The Cultured Indian. If this Cultured Indian ever floated a course Indian Culture 101 I would definitely enroll in it and ask my doubts which I could never ask those individuals due to several constraints (both social and practical). I imagine my interaction would go something like:

The Cultured Indian is sitting on the front porch of his home playing with his kid

Me: Sir, I fear our culture is losing its potency. How do we restore our cultural values?

TCI: Very Simple. Stop girls from wearing jeans and take away their mobile phones

Me: And that helps, exactly how?

TCI: Wearing jeans is against our culture

Me: And it’s not against our culture when boys wear it instead of lungi, dhoti, pajama etc. etc.

TCI: It’s different in boys' case

Me: Ok. And what’s wrong with mobile phones?

TCI: They talk to boys on phone

Me: And women don’t talk to men in our culture?

TCI: Umm..not like that. These days they talk about immoral stuff and do it too.

Me: Like what?

Makes obscene hand gesture

Me: You mean sex, right?

TCI: (flinching)..SEE!! this is the bad effect of western culture..shamelessly talking about immoral stuff

Me: And making obscene gesture in front of a kid is an appropriate cultural response?

TCI: इतना तो चलता है..बच्चे को क्या समझ आएगा 

Me: Right. So a girl & a boy can’t possibly have anything to talk about on phone except sex. Got it. But don’t you think that, on an off chance may be, a phone might actually come in handy in various situations, like, may be when they are in trouble or need help. These days safety of girls is a major concern of parents.

TCI: I know. That’s precisely why women shouldn't wear western clothes. They rouse bad thoughts in boys which lead to rape. They’ll be safe if they wear Indian clothes.

Me: Ok. Even if we ignore the fact that women in Saris get raped too and an overwhelmingly large chunk (75%) of rape cases are filed in rural areas (“Bharat”) where women, in fact, wear traditional dresses, don’t you think boys ought to carry the blame for committing them? Isn’t it in our culture to treat women as our mothers and sisters?

TCI: Hmm..some “boys make mistake”. That’s why they should be married off ASAP

Me: Ok. So bachelors are rapists. Married men don’t do that. But recently in Birbhum rape case many of them were married.

TCI: The girl was involved with another guy in extra-marital affair. That’s against our culture.

Me: And by gang-raping her, those men upheld our culture exactly how?

TCI: ढोल गवाँर शूद्र पशु नारी..सकल ताड़ना के अधिकारी

Good job Mr. Tulsidas. So much for the greatness

Me: So I take it that it is in consonance with our culture when ‘manki-munda’ in West Singhbum issues directives to the victim to not approach the police and marry the accused instead?

TCI: Hmm..it’s the right thing to do. Life of victim will be salvaged

Me: Ok. So let me get this straight. You can’t marry a girl from another caste, might even get killed if you do so, but if you rape her, you can marry her?

TCI: Sounds ‘bout right

Me: Totally sound cultural logic!!

(Phone Rings)"Baby Doll main sone di.."

TCI: Yes yes. I'll be there soon. Ok. I'll have to go now for a movie. I hope you learnt something today

Me: But Sir, we haven't discussed many aspects of our culture which are in danger and I'd like to discuss them too
TCI: Naah. There is nothing more to it. Everything else is just fine

Me: Ok. Which movie are you going to by the way?
TCI: Ragini MMS 2

Me: You do know that it features an actress who wasn't a big fan of wearing jeans, or anything else for that matter, in her earlier movies?
TCI: (winking) I know. Hoping for it today too. Man! she's a "tanch maal". See ya..

For someone like me, who is still grappling with the idea  of India, making sense of an all-pervading Indian culture seems like an exercise in futility. Cultural practices of one part of the country may go against the cultural understanding of some other part. Our combined history is a result of intermingling of different peoples, cultures and norms; moving into this land from all over the world. Ongoing Westernization of India, I believe, is simply another stage in that process. Where most people see an assault of Western culture on India, I see Indian people adjusting to it in their own unique way, assimilating it in larger Indian fold and thereby making it one of the many cultural streams running together.

But when, in land of Shravan Kumar there is rise in incidents of children beating parents in old-age; in land of Bharata incidents of brothers killing each other over land disputes abound; in land of Asceticism insatiable greed & corruption is on display; in land of Yudhishtira people abandon duty (dharma) at first instance of trouble; in land of Buddha intolerance is on rise; in land of Bhagat Singh people are too timid to raise their voice against injustice; in land of Krishna people try to disrobe a girl publicly instead of saving her; and in a land, which became synonymous with compassion, it takes almost an hour before a car stops for 'Nirbhaya' and her friend, it indeed makes me one of those worrying about Indian culture.

Having attended the class of The Cultured Indian, I realized that, at least, we both agree on one thing - Indian culture is definitely imperiled. 

Overture

After months of stalling and indolence, when I finally created this blog and had a look at it, something was amiss. It was empty. It had the look of a just-opened Savings Account with zero balance. Hell, even banks demand 1000 bucks so as not to make your account look like a system error. Unless, of course, you are a student or NREGA worker or...hmm, too many exceptions! Damn you 'financial inclusion'. 

So I stopped looking at "No Posts" like a moron and started to think of something to make the first deposit. But, as most of us already know, words escape us when we need them then most. So I decided to go for the second best thing - time-tested & expedient; something which I regularly took recourse to during my college days (adding my name to an ever-expanding list which boasts of names ranging from Bollywood Musicians to Fareed Zakaria): Ctrl+C ---> Ctrl+V 

Here I am copy-pasting an inadvertent exchange of e-mails that I'd had with Mr. Shamshad Ahmed (ex-Foreign Secretary, Pakistan) around this time last year, when I was making my early forays in the domain of Writing, zealously commenting on various blog-posts and newspaper articles. It was during one such 'article-hunting' that I came across this. Now, usually I am content with replying on the site itself but there was something (which makes our cricket team beat Pakistan in a World Cup match even if it had lost to practically every other country, including Zimbabwe) about the origin of the post that made it incumbent upon me to drop a reply in the inbox of the author (you know, make it personal). So I rolled up my sleeves, asked for Sunny paaji's blessings, pictured Gadar's हैण्ड पंप उखाड़ने वाला सीन and started writing. It turned out to be this:

Sir,

I read your article "May you long live, Katju!" published in The Nation and would like to submit that some of your arguments do not stand up to close scrutiny, especially if done rationally and dispassionately.

" They have met at thousand points, on battlefields and at festivals, around market places and in homes. And yet, they have remained distinct and far apart. "

Personally I do not agree with this assertion. From whatever limited interaction I had with Muslims here, it never felt like they were 'distinct and far apart'. And I am quite sure that the feeling was mutual. I do agree that there might be insecurities festering due to various reasons, practical and historical (that's another debate), but that does not necessarily translate into being distinct and far apart. In fact, taking a liberal guess and extrapolating from my personal experience, I would assert that most of them are tied by community bonds.

"Nobody can deny this reality; otherwise, there would not have been two states carved out of India in 1947. "

Sir, your reality is your perception of history. My reality is formed by my perception of history which says that partition of India cannot be reduced to a simplistic notion of incompatibility of Hindus and Muslims. It was a culmination of sequence of complex historical events contrived by, in large part, British. That is what I realized after reading history books.

" In his view, at least 80 percent of the Indians, both Hindus and Muslims, were communal. Against this fractious scenario, how can he be so confident of a ‘reunification’ in the subcontinent? "

I think you missed the basic point of Mr. Katju here. Mr. Katju's 'reunification theory' presupposes a secular mindset of all (or at least of a large majority of) the residents of sub-continent. But as you rightly pointed out, that far from being the case, it doesn't look like happening in foreseeable future.

"That the Congress was a predominantly Hindu organisation was evident from the fact that at its inaugural session, out of 72 delegates only two were Muslims."

This is the point I most strongly disagree with. What you have presented here is a fact but in my humble opinion it doesn't represent reality. As history books would tell us, after mutiny of 1857, Hindus (especially upper caste) were quick to take up to modern secular English education which resulted in their development of political consciousness. Muslims were late to respond to demand of changing times due to various factors. Sir Syed Ahmed Khan did his best to spread modern secular education among Muslims but it did not lead to widespread penetration of modern education. This prevented the rise of political consciousness among Muslim masses. This, coupled with the fact that Muslims were a minority, could explain why there were only 2 Muslims delegates in inaugural session of congress against 72 Hindus. 

"As early as in the beginning of the 11th century, Al-Biruni had observed that Hindus differed from the Muslims in all manners and habits. Since then, despite living together for more than a thousand years, Hindus and Muslims continued to develop different cultures and traditions."

Lastly I would like to point out that this enmity between Hindus & Muslims is contrived and not a natural outcome stemming out of differences in culture/religion/social order etc. As you've rightly pointed out, despite all these differences, we had managed to live together for almost a thousand years. Then isn't it obvious that we would have continued to live together had it not been for the British conspiracy of dividing India? 

Over the years the problem has become much more complex due to various factors. I hope that people on both sides will try their best to  mitigate these factors and believe that it is possible to coexist peacefully. 

Thank You

Narender Kumar

New Delhi

Obviously, I wasn't expecting a reply. I mean who (that too as important as a senior diplomat of a big country) replies to an unsolicited email, even if full of diplomatic undertones. But reply he did. Turns out that he was sick of the responses on website in normal conversing styles (read uncouth references full of mother and sister adjectives) of deshbhakts and my formal manner was like a breather to him. It went like:

Dear Mr. Kumar,

I m delighted indeed to receive for a change a very-well articulated and historically-backed Indian point of view. I am mostly in agreement with you and respect even those elements of your viwpoint that I may disagree with. That is exactly the way civilised people engage in dialogue and exchange their viepoints. I have no problem with your vesion of history. But for a character like Katju, there was no other way to respond.

I advise you just go and visit the concerned website to see the language of the Indian (mostly Hindu) commnetators have used on my article and later on Katju's rejoinder. I can't even repeat that language here. It is nothing but filth, venom and poison. This is not the first time. It is a routine experience. Whenever there is any piece written by a Pakistani columnist with any reference to India or its policies, there are comments showing only a filthy and uncivilised mindset. We don't see this phenomenon in our youth here who despite the crazy fundamentalists in our society still hope for good relations between our two countries. There is some problem with the grooming of the younger Indian generation. I am not starting any new debate here but let me thank you for your very valuable comments that I greatly apprceiate for their well-meaningfulness and effective presentation. 

We should be focused more on how we can move away from history and rise above the old divides to build upon the commonalties that we do share. We must build bridges rather than destry them, and learn to live at peace with each other. Perhaps, one day, we might together even be a factor of regional peace and stability.  

God bless you.

Now even though I was too tempted to reply to sweeping generalisations like "some problem with the grooming of the younger Indian generation", I felt it would be stretching it too far. So I let it go. Besides writing another 500 word reply was too daunting a task for me. 

As I look back, I feel happy to have written it. And as I start my blogging journey as an amateur writer,and also being an IFS aspirant, it seems only fitting that this should become my first post.