Indian Culture 101

We Indians are consensus loving people. We reach at various types of consensuses:

Short-term - Sachin always fails when needed the most (never mind the gazillion runs and centuries)
Long-term - Sachin is GOD
Scientific - diesel engine gives more mileage than petrol engine

Unscientific - tie chilli-lemon strings on bumpers, put लाल टीका on the hood and keep an idol, preferably Ganesha, on the dashboard for a safe ride (never mind the drunken driving)

Natural - eat curd for better gastrointestinal performance
Supernatural - eat sweet-curd before an examination for better academic performance (never mind the preparation)

Sometimes a new consensus (Don't vote for AAP in coming elections if you want change) even flies in the face of a previously reached consensus (Vote for AAP in coming elections if you want change).

Some of them make me think, some perplex me and some amuse me. But there is one enduring consensus which I first came to know of when I was a little kid (sitting in the drawing room of an Uncleji, contemplating whether to take another cookie or not, if offered) and which I still haven't been able to make complete sense of: Degradation of Indian Culture 

Over the years I have come across several viewpoints on it - mostly for, seldom against. Concomitantly, vanguards of  tradition have emerged in different parts of country ranging from khap panchayats in Haryana to Salishi Sabha in West Bengal. These kangaroo courts (and their ilk) seem to have an idea about what ails Indian Culture and how to go about redeeming it. Quite predictably, every single one of them, without fail, places women at the center, or thereabouts, of everything that is wrong with Indian Culture - both, its manifestation and its cause.

Lately, I was (un)fortunate enough to have interacted with some of these custodians of Indian Culture. Even though these custodians were separated by space, time, class, education, age and other such variables, they had this striking resemblance of views about the causes of decay in Indian Culture and its effects. It was like talking to the same person over and over again - The Cultured Indian. If this Cultured Indian ever floated a course Indian Culture 101 I would definitely enroll in it and ask my doubts which I could never ask those individuals due to several constraints (both social and practical). I imagine my interaction would go something like:

The Cultured Indian is sitting on the front porch of his home playing with his kid

Me: Sir, I fear our culture is losing its potency. How do we restore our cultural values?

TCI: Very Simple. Stop girls from wearing jeans and take away their mobile phones

Me: And that helps, exactly how?

TCI: Wearing jeans is against our culture

Me: And it’s not against our culture when boys wear it instead of lungi, dhoti, pajama etc. etc.

TCI: It’s different in boys' case

Me: Ok. And what’s wrong with mobile phones?

TCI: They talk to boys on phone

Me: And women don’t talk to men in our culture?

TCI: Umm..not like that. These days they talk about immoral stuff and do it too.

Me: Like what?

Makes obscene hand gesture

Me: You mean sex, right?

TCI: (flinching)..SEE!! this is the bad effect of western culture..shamelessly talking about immoral stuff

Me: And making obscene gesture in front of a kid is an appropriate cultural response?

TCI: इतना तो चलता है..बच्चे को क्या समझ आएगा 

Me: Right. So a girl & a boy can’t possibly have anything to talk about on phone except sex. Got it. But don’t you think that, on an off chance may be, a phone might actually come in handy in various situations, like, may be when they are in trouble or need help. These days safety of girls is a major concern of parents.

TCI: I know. That’s precisely why women shouldn't wear western clothes. They rouse bad thoughts in boys which lead to rape. They’ll be safe if they wear Indian clothes.

Me: Ok. Even if we ignore the fact that women in Saris get raped too and an overwhelmingly large chunk (75%) of rape cases are filed in rural areas (“Bharat”) where women, in fact, wear traditional dresses, don’t you think boys ought to carry the blame for committing them? Isn’t it in our culture to treat women as our mothers and sisters?

TCI: Hmm..some “boys make mistake”. That’s why they should be married off ASAP

Me: Ok. So bachelors are rapists. Married men don’t do that. But recently in Birbhum rape case many of them were married.

TCI: The girl was involved with another guy in extra-marital affair. That’s against our culture.

Me: And by gang-raping her, those men upheld our culture exactly how?

TCI: ढोल गवाँर शूद्र पशु नारी..सकल ताड़ना के अधिकारी

Good job Mr. Tulsidas. So much for the greatness

Me: So I take it that it is in consonance with our culture when ‘manki-munda’ in West Singhbum issues directives to the victim to not approach the police and marry the accused instead?

TCI: Hmm..it’s the right thing to do. Life of victim will be salvaged

Me: Ok. So let me get this straight. You can’t marry a girl from another caste, might even get killed if you do so, but if you rape her, you can marry her?

TCI: Sounds ‘bout right

Me: Totally sound cultural logic!!

(Phone Rings)"Baby Doll main sone di.."

TCI: Yes yes. I'll be there soon. Ok. I'll have to go now for a movie. I hope you learnt something today

Me: But Sir, we haven't discussed many aspects of our culture which are in danger and I'd like to discuss them too
TCI: Naah. There is nothing more to it. Everything else is just fine

Me: Ok. Which movie are you going to by the way?
TCI: Ragini MMS 2

Me: You do know that it features an actress who wasn't a big fan of wearing jeans, or anything else for that matter, in her earlier movies?
TCI: (winking) I know. Hoping for it today too. Man! she's a "tanch maal". See ya..

For someone like me, who is still grappling with the idea  of India, making sense of an all-pervading Indian culture seems like an exercise in futility. Cultural practices of one part of the country may go against the cultural understanding of some other part. Our combined history is a result of intermingling of different peoples, cultures and norms; moving into this land from all over the world. Ongoing Westernization of India, I believe, is simply another stage in that process. Where most people see an assault of Western culture on India, I see Indian people adjusting to it in their own unique way, assimilating it in larger Indian fold and thereby making it one of the many cultural streams running together.

But when, in land of Shravan Kumar there is rise in incidents of children beating parents in old-age; in land of Bharata incidents of brothers killing each other over land disputes abound; in land of Asceticism insatiable greed & corruption is on display; in land of Yudhishtira people abandon duty (dharma) at first instance of trouble; in land of Buddha intolerance is on rise; in land of Bhagat Singh people are too timid to raise their voice against injustice; in land of Krishna people try to disrobe a girl publicly instead of saving her; and in a land, which became synonymous with compassion, it takes almost an hour before a car stops for 'Nirbhaya' and her friend, it indeed makes me one of those worrying about Indian culture.

Having attended the class of The Cultured Indian, I realized that, at least, we both agree on one thing - Indian culture is definitely imperiled.